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Arranging a Dream Date: Key Aspects
The big day is finally here. Your imagination has repeatedly played through all sorts of versions of the meeting. And now it feels as if the butterflies in your stomach could break out, and your date could also notice it – what an embarrassing performance. But don’t worry, after all, every date would just be boring without these feelings. Good preparation will make much of your nervousness disappear. It is not wise to leave everything to chance, and the advice we have for you is really simple and understandable to everyone. On 99brides.com, you can also find lots of other useful information and diverse recommendations, but today the topic is your first date with a person you communicated with in an online mode only.
Even in the last hours before the date, decisive mistakes can happen. So if you are still at home and are thinking about how to get your fear under control, read on – we’ll tell you what will help you.
Step 1: Be Confident!
Start with yourself first. If you want to fight your nervousness, you must have adequate self-esteem. The decisive keyword is self-love: only those who love and accept themselves can offer the same to others. What YOU think of yourself, you unconsciously convey to the outside world. Your date will quickly notice if you feel comfortable. Posture, movements, and facial expressions tell your counterpart more about you than you think.
Step 2: The Date Look – Dress Up
Take time to get ready! Your appearance is a fundamental part of the date preparations (of course, this applies both to men and women). Don’t you know what to wear? Note the following tip: think of a favorite photo of yourself. If someone asks you about your most beautiful shot of you, which picture would you choose? Dress similarly. You can also ask friends which photo of you they like in terms of an outfit. What are you wearing in this photo? Take these clothes. Remember to make sure they are clean and ironed!
To have enough time for this part of the preparations, you should not schedule your date between other dates because being under time pressure complicates the matter enormously. In general, what you wear should fit both the occasion and the place of your meeting. Don’t be exaggeratedly chic dressed and never choose a homeless person look to show how relaxed you are. Neither slippers in the chic restaurant nor high heels on the hiking trail.
Step 3: Be a Good Listener
This is a very important point before and during the first date! Why? It’s very simple – you’ll learn more about your date if you listen attentively. Listening is much more difficult than most of us think. Everyone wants to present themselves as well as possible. You should immediately discard the misconception that you must be the entertainer to look interesting.
You can learn to listen; it’s a conversation technique like many others. It’s all about the psychology behind it. Follow these instructions to get the most out of your first conversation:
- Be an “active listener.” How? Seek eye contact while your date is speaking, and react wisely to what a lady says. Laugh when he/she laughs and be serious when discussing serious things: in short, mirror the reactions of your date.
- If you want to become a better listener, you have to follow the tempo of conversation, especially if your date tells a slightly more complicated story and it is no longer just small talk. Tame your mind and keep your thoughts from other things. But if you don’t come along anymore, don’t be afraid to ask. This shows your interest and proves that you take the person and his/her thoughts seriously.
- Think before you speak. A good listener takes his time before answering. Phrases like “Give me a second to think about it” give the speaker the feeling that an interlocutor understood him and has not just waited for the end of the story.
- Remember the topics you talked about online before the date. Do you already know anything about the interests and hobbies of your counterpart? Use this knowledge. If you keep these details in mind, you show that you are trying hard and easily escape embarrassing silence. In addition, you will also feel more comfortable, even if you have never seen the other person in real life.
- Pay attention to body language and tone changes. Monitoring these signals helps you interact and select your answers.
- Last but not least: don’t look at your phone too often! It’s rude and gives your date the feeling that you’re bored and not interested in the conversation and the person. It’s best to just put it away!
Step 4: Be Yourself
This may sound clichéd, but it is true: be real. Don’t pretend to be someone else. After all, your date should like you the way you really are, isn’t it? If you behave like a completely different person to impress him or her, it will not bring you any advantages. On the contrary! Trying to seem a different person during an entire evening is super exhausting, and in the end, you feel rather bad and awkward. Just think about the future: how should this new “relationship” develop if everything goes well? No one wants a relationship based on a lie. Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to maintain such a farce forever? This is literally impossible.
Step 5: Learn From the Past
If you have already had many first dates, think about what went wrong on previous occasions. Use your old mistakes to your advantage. What were the mistakes you made? Maybe you were unpunctual, or did you address topics that should be better avoided when you get to know each other for the first time? Was your outfit completely wrong? If you can analyze your mistakes and are willing to improve, you have already become a better version of yourself.
So, now you have all chances of doing everything properly! Don’t be afraid, be yourself, and you will win the heart of a person you like!